Stressed is just desserts spelled backwards.
2007-04-30
12:08 a.m.
I said I'd update again when my life calmed down. Here's an update: I don't think I'd ever write again if I waited until then.
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Tonight we made a trip to our local emergency room for YS. We never actually went in the ER, because it was full of folks that looked like they'd be/been there a while. You know the look: Bored, tired, they've taken their shoes off and have pulled up chairs to put their feet up. Yeah. I'm guessing there were at least 20 folks waiting.
We decided by the time YS would be seen, it would be almost the time his pediatrician's office opens (they open at 7:00 a.m.), so we came back home.
Shortly before 9:00 tonight, Oldest Son and Youngest Son were playing hide and seek while Hubby and I were sitting outside talking. Usually I have them in bed around 8:30, but Sunday nights we almost always run a little later. I thought I'd let them go ahead and play a little longer before sending them off to bed.
No good deed goes unpunished, does it? I should have made them go to bed before going outside to talk.
YS was juuuust about to find OS hiding in the laundry room. When YS approached the laundry room door, OS attempted to slam the door closed. Instead, he slammed it into YS's face. In particular, his nose.
After about 45 minutes of ice and TLC, we were really concerned that YS's nose may be broken. One side is swollen, as is the eye on that same side. He's also got a bruise across the bridge of his nose.
Poor YS, because it hurt, and poor OS, because he feels awful. Tomorrow morning Hubby will be taking YS to the pediatrician to have him examined. I just checked on him in bed, and the swelling is still there, but he isn't flinching at all when I run my finger across it, so it must not hurt as bad.
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For the last four years, April has turned into a stressful and sucky month for me. I had high hopes for this April that everything would be springy and tranquil but, nay, it wasn't to be.
Without going into specifics, my little world has undergone some recent stress that relates to the very selfish and avoidable behavior of a loved one. How's that for generic and mysterious clues?
Due to that, Hubby and I have entered into some marital counseling. (And no, it is not an extra-marital affair. Oh, I know you were too guessing that.)
Earlier this weekend I sat down and wrote out a list of events from the last three years for our counselor. Obviously I know everything that's happened, but it's startling to see it all typed out neat and pretty.
It's a wonder I'm not crazy. And my husband would disagree with that statement and tell you I am crazy.
The event that led us to counseling has caused untold anger in me, and I asked the counselor last Friday for a suggestion on how to release it some way. He asked me how I usually get rid of anger, and I couldn't give him a good answer besides I usually just get over it. I'm sure he knows I eat to destress, because it's pretty obvious. I was just wanting to know what else he could suggest.
Hubby's side of the family medicates in times of stress. My side just keeps on paddling, like the duck in the old saying. We're all calm and cool on the surface, but paddling like hell underneath. Only has anyone noticed how fat the ducks are getting? Somebody must be feeding them something besides stale old bread.
While reading the list I mentioned earlier, I figured out that I have gained close to 90 pounds since my first SIL died in February 2004. And I was fat already before she died, for those of y'all that don't know me in real life. Now I'm really, really fat.
Oink. Quack. Quoink.
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The first anniversary of my brother's death is approaching. That issue and the additional family stress have left me feeling raw and emotional.
I don't think I have mentioned it here, but next month Hubby and I have a trip planned to Atlanta to see the psychic medium John Edward. You know, the guy on TV's Crossing Over.
Of course I'm hoping to hear something or have some connection with my brother. Since he rarely ever did anything I ever told him to do, I'm not holding my breath. (Only to be completely honest, I really am.)
Shortly after my dad died, almost 14 years ago now, I had a dream about him three nights in a row. In those dreams he was telling me he was okay and not to worry. I have longed to have the same experience with my brother, but I haven't. (See what I mean? I tell him what to do and he ignores me. Hrmmph.)
In the years since his death, I have felt my dad around me at stressful times. I have the same feeling with my brother, only it's a much stronger feeling, as if he's really right around me, just out of eyesight and reach. I especially hope he's there when I remind him how much I miss him and love him and what a jerk he is for just up and dying when I least expected it.
There are two particular instances when I am pretty certain my brother was there:
Last weekend I was involved in a contest that, though I knew already the prize was probably pretty crappy, wanted to win just from my competitive nature. I wished to myself that Mike were with me, because he always knew all kinds of useless trivia that would be good in such an instance.
I won that contest (and it was a crappy prize) with an answer that I half knew and half guessed. I thought I knew it, but I was still guessing, if that makes sense. I just feel like he was there helping me out (and probably laughing at the prize, too).
In a weirder instance, several months ago I was returning to my family doctor for a long-overdue follow-up visit. The doctor's office operated on a walk-in basis, and I had called that morning to make sure my doctor was actually in the clinic that day, and he was. I did not tell them my name or that I would be coming in that morning, but simply hung up and got ready, then drove the 15 miles into town.
When I got to the office, I was disappointed to find out that they had instituted new rules since my visit a couple months previous, and I now had to have an appointment. Well, phooey.
I asked the nurse to see what the doctor's schedule looked like the rest of the day to see if maybe I could still get in that day. She pulled up his schedule and looked up at me suspiciously. She told me I had an appointment for 10:00. I looked at the clock, and it was five minutes after 10. I promised I had made no appointment -- I didn't know I'd needed to -- but hey, sorry I'm late!
She went and flipped through the doctor's stack of charts for the day, and sure enough, mine was there. Freaky. I don't think she ever believed me when I kept insisting I never made an appointment, but I did get in to see the doctor.
I know that's a bizarre story, but I honestly feel like Mike had something to do with it.
What I'd really like to hear at the John Edward show is that, A.) he was involved in both of those instances, and B.) then I want him to send me the winning Powerball ticket, too, but I'm not actually telling him to do that. Just a suggestion of something that would be nice to do for his only sister.
No matter what happens, the John Edward show will be interesting, and of course I'll update on it afterwards. The tickets (which were $175 each, so the very least Mike could do is show up, since it cost him nothing, right???) have a printed line saying readings are not guaranteed.
Cinzel is keeping our kids that weekend, so y'all be sure to look for updates on her page. No doubt she'll be going on about what angels my kids are if she really expects to share in that winning Powerball ticket.
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Since I have to go to work in the morning, guess I'd better wrap this up.
Over and out.
4 comments so far Pattypat - 2007-04-30 08:52:41
Hang in there. I hope you're feeling better.
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cinzel - 2007-04-30 09:22:22
If I say they're PERFECT angels, do I get a bigger share of the Powerball??
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Heather - 2007-04-30 11:29:34
Wow. That's a lot of things going on! I almost don't know what to say or what to comment on. But I hope things turn around for everyone, and how exciting to see John Edwards! I love that show.
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Holly - 2007-04-30 19:06:30
Hope his nose is okay. That had to hurt. Poor guy
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