Thoughts on Brandon.
2007-04-01
1:28 p.m.
I know I've been MIA for a few days here now, but I've been in a three-week court term, plus I finished a half week of another reporter's term before that. And baseball started, and I'm spending a lot of evenings at one and sometimes two ball fields, as well as most of the days on Saturdays. So, uh, that's my excuse(s) and I'm sticking to it.
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Actually, I just logged on now to bemoan the life on one of Oldest Son's good friends. Brandon is his name, and he's 11 years old and the picture of adorable. He was on Oldest Son's baseball team last year, and they're also in the same class.
We've been here in Smalltown for a year and three months, and Brandon's mom is now on her third man since we've known them.
Brandon spent Friday night and Saturday night at our house, and his newest "mom's boyfriend" just came to pick him up about a half hour ago. He spoke to Brandon with such...I guess I would call it contempt. I've met this one once before, and I thought he was trashy then. Now I think even less of him. I asked Oldest Son after they left if Brandon likes this one, and he said no.
Lucklily, Brandon's dad is in his life, and he seems much more stable than the mom. He and his wife come to Brandon's baseball games and school events, and seem to get along okay with his mom. Brandon also spends every other weekend with his dad in Alabama. I often wonder why he doesn't have custody.
I am far from going Dr. Laura on everyone. I know there are bad marriages, and kids are better off not being exposed to constant fighting a bad marriage brings. And I have seen successful subsequent marriages with children that work out as well as can be expected.
I swear, though, I really want to have a heart-to-heart with Brandon's mom and ask her what in the hell she is doing parading all these men through her kids' lives. I don't know her all that well, though, and I'm guessing she really doesn't *care* what I think.
She has three children (from three different fathers), with Brandon being the youngest. I don't know the older two children, but Brandon is himself a very sweet and polite child. All I have to say is "stop that" once to him, and the offending activity ceases immediately. (I, ahem, sometimes have to say it more than once to my own children, so this is somewhat novel to me. :)
Cinzel has reminded me before that not everyone feels the same way about their children as I do. Still, at some point you'd think Brandon's mom would realize, hey, I may be screwing up my kids' lives. Why don't I just wait until I get them raised and then try again in a relationship.
I guess for now we'll just keep on letting him stay over here frequently on the weekends. He has gotten in the routine of spending at least one, if not both, of the weekend nights he's with his mom with us. He's absolutely no trouble to have, though, and I sure don't want Oldest Staying over at his house.
Wishing I could solve all the problems today....
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I came back to add that Hubby got me really good this a.m. for April Fool's. He e-mailed me to say that his boss had called and told him to take the day off. Since he doesn't have weekends off, woo to the hoo! (There's been some discussion in the last couple days of changing the rotation he's on, since he and another man never have weekends off unless they take vacation.) So I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. Then when I called him he asked me had I checked my e-mail again. April Fool's. Phhhhhhhhttttttttt. Over and out.2 comments so far m-lewis - 2007-04-02 09:12:20
So good to see you're still alive and kicking. Poor little Brandon. Isn't it amazing how kids survive bad parents? I listen every day to situations such as the one you described, since the judge I work for does mostly contested domestic-relations-type hearings; divorce, custody, visitation, child support, domestic abuse. I wouldn't let my child stay over at Brandon's mother's house either. No way! But think of all the good your family can do for this child even if it's just on the weekends.
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Nannycarols - 2007-04-02 13:02:37
It is good that he can come over to your house and see what a "normal" family is like.
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