There is no description for this news.
2006-05-31
10:47 p.m.
I hesitate even posting this news. I'm not sure why I hesitate, except for the fact that I hate seeing it in print. Like that makes it real, when really it's not. Unfortunately, it is.
My brother died last week, very suddenly. (For those I don't know in real life, this is the brother I've posted about in the past that was involved in a motorcycle accident two years ago. His wife died in that accident. He survived, but lost his leg and the sight in his left eye. After a very lengthy recovery, he was finally able to go home, but never worked again.)
He had been sick for approximately a month with what was first diagnosed as an upper respiratory infection and treated with antibiotics. When he didn't respond to that treatment, he went to his regular doctor (the first was a walk-in clinic), and was diagnosed with a fungal respiratory infection and treated with another round of different antibiotics.
And then five days later he died of leukemia. Which we did not know he had until my Mom finally talked him into going to the emergency room, because he was having trouble breathing. She (and we) figured he may be developing pneumonia. Not leukemia. Leukemia was the absolute last thing I would have ever imagined.
I had actually gone down to his city to take him for the chest x-ray and the blood work after his second doctor visit, because he was giving my mom a hard time about going. He really thought with time and the new medicine, he'd kick whatever this bug was. He could whine and bitch at me about not wanting to go, though, and I didn't care one whit. (And he did sit and roll his eyes at me while we waited for the chest x-ray at the hospital, and I just laughed at him. Which made him roll his eyes some more and finally laugh himself.)
That was Thursday that I took him for the tests. On Friday morning, he appeared to be responding to the second antibiotic. He woke up with a lot more energy, and he and I actually sat around his house all day that day talking about everything under the sun. Got all the world's problems solved, laughed about anything we could think of, discussed how my other brother needs to handle my pain-in-the-ass nephew. You name it, we talked about it. I had NO CLUE at all how sick he was, and I really don't think he did, either. Even he said that day that he was feeling much better, and that he was sure I could probably tell that. And I could tell.
I had to go home that Friday night, because my husband had to be at work the next day, but I had no premonition whatsoever that that would be the last time I talked with him.
On Saturday and Sunday, Mom called both days and told me she thought he wasn't doing as well as on Friday. By Monday she was really getting concerned, and spent the day trying to get some kind of answer out of the doctor's office about his blood work and chest x-ray. Monday evening is when she finally got him to agree to go to the emergency room.
By midnight that Monday night he was in ICU on a ventilator and sedated, and we never saw him conscious again. He died at 2:30 a.m. on Wednesday morning.
According to the oncologist that treated him, this was an acute form of leukemia that moves in very quickly and is extremely aggressive.
The second doctor's office, the one that sent him for the x-ray and blood work, were alarmed at his white blood cell count, I'm sure, when they finally read the results on Tuesday. In fact, they called to schedule an appointment for him the next day. My mom told them it was too late, he was in ICU then. And he died about 12 hours after that call.
To say this is a shock is to say the earth is kind of big. I have lost one of my best friends and favorite people in the whole world. My family has definitely lost a lot in the last two years, but the hole my brother's death leaves is just...well, I can't think of any words that begin to describe it.
My mom is still staying in his house, since her house is not repaired from the hurricane. In fact, I suspect she'll still be in his house another year. The construction in her neighborhood has slowed to a crawl.
I'm sure my kids and I will go down frequently this summer to visit her and keep her company. My mother-in-law really wants Oldest Son to come and spend a week with her in her city, so I'm sure Youngest Son and I will spend the week with my mom while he does that. Which will probably be good, because both of my boys are much sweeter one on one than when they're together and fighting for all the attention.
My husband and my in-laws couldn't have been more awesome through this whole thing. Two of my three sisters-in-law and my mother-in-law came in from out of town to attend the funeral, which made me want to cry, I was so touched. I didn't realize how much their coming meant to me until I saw them there. The third sister-in-law called to apologize for not being able to come, that she had family obligations she couldn't change.
I just came home last night, and today I did -- well, basically nothing. I tried to clean up my house, and tried to work on a transcript, but I finally closed my office, gave up on the house, and just went to town. The kids and I went to the library and out to eat and grocery shopping. Hopefully tomorrow I can figure out how to get myself back on a schedule.
I know this is totally normal, but I'm not sleeping well. I keep waking up at night to question whether it's really true, that he really is gone. I had the same experience when I lost both of my sisters-in-law, and those were both sudden deaths as well.
12 comments so far frangipani - 2006-06-01 01:29:15
*hugs*
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chocolate chaos - 2006-06-01 05:48:57
im so sorry....
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Heather - 2006-06-01 08:03:01
Oh my God... I'm shocked. I am so sorry. *hugs*
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Holly - 2006-06-01 08:10:32
I'm so sorry for your lose (((hugs)). If you nee to talk I'm willing to listen.
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shear - 2006-06-01 08:16:26
I'm just so shocked. Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts. ((((great big giant hugs)))))
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Pattypat - 2006-06-01 08:33:19
I'm so sorry. We'll keep you in our prayers.
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Megan - 2006-06-01 09:42:56
It's raining here this morning, which is good news for us. However, I know rain and gloom fosters feelings of depression -- so I hope it's not raining there. Yes, the sleeplessness, the depression, the emptyness... You can't hurry the sad spiral of grief -- it will only serve to frustrate you. I am so very, very sorry. At some point maybe you and your family will put your energy into some type of memorial, something that will honor your brother's memory.
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Grizmom - 2006-06-01 10:08:44
My dear cousin, the prettiest one I have, I so wish I could be there for you. I so wish I could change all this sadness and grief. How I wish I could just be there to talk and laugh and shop and cry and all the things good friends do. Give yourself some time to grief. In time, as you already know, the grief gives way to memories and warm smiles. No matter what or when, I'm only a phone call away. You're loved and thought of my dear pc.
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Suzanne - 2006-06-01 10:59:10
Melanie, I am so sorry. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
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skibigsky - 2006-06-01 12:31:19
I'm so sorry.
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Bonnie - 2006-06-01 14:43:42
Mel, I am so sorry to hear about your beloved brother...you and your family will be in my thoughts.
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Kathy - 2006-06-08 13:10:48
Oh my God! I just read your news about your loss of your brother. I'm so very sorry. I understand, having lost my brother suddenly to a heart attack over 12 years ago this August. It's painful. It's unreal. And you just never ever ever quit missing them. My hugs to you. My God.
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