SIL's Best Friend
2004-11-30
9:02 a.m.
Tina, my sister-in-law's best friend, called me last night. She used to call me more often, just to talk to me about SIL and how much she misses her. I know she does, and I don't even want to imagine being in the same emotional boat she's in. She and SIL were peas in a pod, together as often as possible, and talked to each other several times a day. They were both avid piggy bank collectors, and together had built huge collections. I know my SIL had at least 500.
Unfortunately, Tina has seen a lot of pain in her 43 or 44 years on earth. I don't know her well enough to know it all, but I know around eight years or so ago one of her brothers contracted aids, and she nursed him till his death. She was in her 30s at the time, as was I, and I remember thinking then what an amazing person to do that. She really struggled emotionally after his death, as she is now.
Whenever we go home, my mom always asks me to go to my brother and SIL's house to check on things, make sure the fridge hasn't quit working or something odd like that. So far it's been seven months and six days since anyone's lived in the house.
Another thing I always do is empty the answering machine. The first few times I did this, the machine was always full with calls from people who didn't know about the accident, calling to talk to them, or business calls for my brother. The last couple times there were a few regular calls, but now it's mostly full of hang-up calls. I haven't checked the caller ID, but I'm pretty sure it's probably either Tina or my brother, perhaps my SIL's family, just calling to hear her voice on the answering machine.
Tina has stood by my brother, visiting him a couple times a month, though she lives about 120 miles or so away. She also calls him often. She told me last night she really wants to talk to him about how bad she's hurting, but says he won't let her. Stops her before she can get her thoughts out. I know he's hurting, too, and thinks he can't handle her pain as well.
I told her she can call me as much as she wants. Maybe I need to make time in my evenings sometimes to call her. Just seems by the time I get the boys in bed at night, do whatever else I need to do, there's just never much time left over.
Tina told me last night, too, that there's a trial today for the boy that hit my brother and SIL. SIL's parents told her about it, and she didn't know if they planned to attend or not. Tina was upset she didn't know about it earlier, because she would have tried to switch her days off to attend. She promised to let me know what happens when she finds out...and I want to know and I don't want to know. It won't change a thing for my family.
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