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I should feed him plenty of bran.

2007-11-07
9:18 p.m.

Oldest Son's had a rough day today. He came home with the assignment of having to 100 lines of "I will follow directions in English class," and it hasn't much improved since then.

Tonight he was attempting to get Youngest Son to balance a quarter on his nose (like he sometimes tries to get the dogs to balance bones on their nose, and Youngest Son is really only marginally more cooperative than the dogs). Youngest Son ended up swallowing that quarter, and flipped the hell out, convinced he would die.

Oldest Son thought he was raising hell because he couldn't breathe, and knew he was probably going to be in big trouble for initiating the dog trick with his little brother in the first place.

Once I assessed the situation, I pointed out that Youngest Son was breathing quite well, because he was screaming his fool head off, can't you see?

And all this happened right at bedtime, y'all, when Mama was fixing to relax, dammit!

I finally convinced YS the quarter would be in his stomach by now, and that he'd, well, poop it out. Which brought up all kinds of questions of did he have to go to school tomorrow if maybe he was going to poop a quarter? Shouldn't he stay home for that? I think I need to keep them both home and have their heads examined, frankly.

Tomorrow I shouldn't be surprised when the teacher calls me and tells me that YS is telling everyone he can poop spare change, should I?

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This morning I decided I should eat something different for breakfast...change things up, you know? Only what I eat for breakfast every morning is something I love, love, love. (Two Blueberry Bran Vitalicious muffin tops, microwaved, with one teaspooon of peanut butter on each, which comes to a total of a five-point breakfast. A very satisfying five points.)

Consequently, I spent the day just out of sorts...everything just seemed off, not quite right. I was wanting to eat just to eat, and nothing healthy, either. As Dr. Phil says, I was white-knuckling on this WW wagon all day. I am obviously a creature of habit, huh? I think my husband calls this "set in my ways." And he doesn't always say it in the most flattering tone, either.

Tonight, before diving head-first into the kids' Halloween candy like I was wanting to, I decided I was just going to eat my breakfast now, for a late-evening snack. I did, and I am most satisfied. Never again shall I try to outsmart myself and try something different until I'm actually tired of my choice.

So I've re-learned two important lessons today:

1.) Never try to make your little brother do a dog trick with a quarter on his nose.

2.) If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Over and out.


4 comments so far Heather - 2007-11-07 23:06:11
But the important question is... will he be picking his poop to find that quarter?!
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cinzel - 2007-11-08 01:44:41
Have you found a new way to pay deductibles??
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Shear - 2007-11-08 07:21:15
(Heh. Good one Cinzel.) I just hope it wasn't a "UTAH" state quarter. My mother collects state quarters and the Utah one was just released. She would be all over his poop.
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Nannycarols - 2007-11-09 09:51:21
This comment is more or less directed to your last blog. Have you checked out the WW yahoogroup that does recipes? Just a thought.
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