Operation: Pass Kindergarten.
2007-02-23
9:43 p.m.
Youngest Son and I have been in kindergarten crisis mode for about five weeks now, frantically trying to catch him up with the rest of his class.
I can't remember if I wrote about it here, but Youngest Son has really struggled with the whole reading concept. He remembered the letters and how they sounded (though he still sometimes mixes up short a, e, and i), but he couldn't put together say "d-o-g" and get "dog." He just got "duh au guh."
When Hubby and I went to his first teacher conference in the fall, his teacher told us he wasn't getting it yet, but we (I) already knew that, because he wasn't getting it at home. To tell the truth, I wasn't all that concerned about it, because hey, it's kindergarten. How hard can this really be? Besides, it's early in the school year. He'll get it soon. And she said there were more besides him that didn't understand it.
But when I met with her in January, I knew he still wasn't getting it, and I could tell most of the other kids had caught on. He still wasn't showing any signs of understanding it, despite our playing the Hooked on Phonics game. (BTW: Hooked on Phonics is dull. Both to the five-year-old and to his 43-year-old mother.)
I'm sort of embarrassed to admit this, but I actually started crying in that January conference, as his teacher gently led me to the conclusion that he probably wouldn't be passing kindergarten. In my mind I had started to realize unless something changed that that was a possibility, but to hear it just hurt my heart. And his teacher teared up and told me she completely understood, as her oldest son had had to repeat kindergarten, and he was now in college and doing fine.
For a couple of days I was just really upset, and then I got busy. I devised five different ways to help him read words as words, and by George, he has gotten it. He can now look at "d-o-g" and get "dog." Most of the time. When he's really tired, he still reverts back to "pot."
("Pot" was his favorite guess word for anything. The word could be anything from "bed" to "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious," and YS would insist it was "pot." Because you know, eventually it's got to be "pot.")
We have been working from an hour and a half to two hours a night on my self-made homework. Does anyone besides me find it ridiculous that we are having to work so hard for kindergarten??? I didn't have to do near this much with Oldest Son, but he caught on to reading much quicker, plus he wasn't expected to do near as much in kindergarten as YS is.
YS's teacher told me next nine weeks they'll be doing graphing. Huh???? It's not coloring, cutting, and pasting anymore. And yes, I'm going to be doing some graphing with Youngest Son in the next week or so, so he'll be ready.
I wish I'd have been more concerned early on and started working more with YS then. Because he's my child and I know how smart he is at home, I thought he'd get it soon. I didn't do enough about it soon enough, and I have some regrets about that.
It has been pointed out to me that perhaps YS needs to stay back another year if we're having to work this much. That's an idea I've thought about, too, but if he needs my pushing him and helping in first grade, too, well, we'll do that. I honestly think the social ramifications of staying behind will hurt him more than my pushing him at home.
YS will be six on May 28. Most of his classmates have already turned six, and I envy them their extra months of age, because I think in six months we'll probably see more maturity in him that would help him in class now. Both of my boys have summer birthdays (May 28 and July 7), and they both seem to grow a lot over the summers, both mentally and phsically.
Yesterday at the conference YS's teacher was positive about some improvement, but she still didn't tell me she thought he would pass. We've got three more months to show her what he can do, and I don't think she realizes how determined his mom is that he succeeds.
Over and out.
5 comments so far chocolate chaos - 2007-02-24 08:34:06
how does he do in his other subjects? think hes dyslexic or something?
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cinzel - 2007-02-24 10:04:25
I really do admire you...I want a pinch of your determination!! :) Too bad more parents aren't like you. We'd be getting out of court by noon EVERY DAY!!
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Holly - 2007-02-24 21:49:52
Warren's birthday is June 20. We tried hin in kindergarten when he was 5. but he really wasn't ready for it. Holding him back really did him good. I was 5 three weeks before the first day of kindergarten [My b'day is Aug 10], and the first couple of years were very hard, but once I reached about 3rd or 4th grade I more than caught up, by middle school/high school I was at the top of the class, but it took a lot of work. You know your son best and have to decide which would be best. Most of the kids in my class turned shortly after kindergarten started, so I was by far the youngest. Warren is one of the oldest. It greatly depends on the individeual child. You know your son best, so you can decide best. But if he continues to struggle, it might not hurt to test for Learning disabilites, some kids do learn differently.
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loki-katt - 2007-02-25 12:41:43
I had the same problem with daughter...her problem was she just wasn't emotionally mature enough for first grade. They had something called Transitional First at the time...a sort of inbetween Kindegarten and First grade. It worked wonders for her. She didn't get held back, but they spent extra time with the kids working on some problem areas (reading and math). I really understand your delimmia, afterall you don't want the child to think of himself as a "failure" when clearly he's not. I know you guys will look at all the options and make the right decision for the little guy. It also wouldn't hurt to ask his opinion (I'm sure he has one). On the bright side you get more involved and you get a stronger kid in the bargin. Also, might OS be convinced that "tutoring" YS is a cool thing? Not a steady diet by any means (certainly a recipe for disaster) but in playing "learning" games. With daughter, it was finding words in the world (road signs, etc.) sort of like highway bingo or something. Good Luck!
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m-lewis - 2007-02-25 18:20:12
I should have held my youngest son back and didn't when he was in the second grade. He was smart enough -- very smart, in fact. But he was emotionally immature. I was told my youngest daughter should be held back in kindergarten and I didn't do that either because her grades were good -- same problem -- emotionally too young. If I knew then what I know now, I'd have held them back and let them mature at their own pace rather than pressing them to "grow up." I was wrong - wrong - wrong. I'm happy to report they both grew up... eventually, graduated and went to college.
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