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The Smalltown gossip.

2007-02-13
11:26 a.m.

Remember Gladys Kravitz? She was the nosey woman that lived next door to Samantha and Darren on Bewitched.

Man, I loved that show Bewitched. I wanted to be Tabitha when I was a kid, but now I definitely wish I could be Samantha. And I always associate Bewitched with That Girl, too, because That Girl came on right after it. Loved That Girl, too. And this ends my prehistoric TV flashback.

Anyway, I'm usually far too lazy to be Gladys Kravitz, but in this house I can just turn my head to the right and watch the goings-on over at my across-the-road neighbor's house. And since I sit on my rump at my computer in my office so much of the time, well, I see what's happening over there a lot.

Add in one last fact that I live on a road that's not busy and so any traffic is noticed, and you can get me a t-shirt with a big "G" for Gladys like Laverne used to wear on Laverne and Shirley. Loved that show, too. I'm a little scattered today.

This across-the-road neighbor has gained herself a little fame and notoriety here in Smalltown recently. She used to be our mail carrier. (Notice the past tense "used to be.")

Sometime last year she apparently got a little overwhelmed by her job or underwhelmed in energy by some drug use (it's the rumor) and just started not delivering mail. Oh, she delivered some of it, but some of it she hung onto and stashed on her back porch.

The news reports say she had ten garbage bags stashed back there. Another news report said she had more stashed in her house.

Since I pay everything online, I have to admit I never missed any of my bills. I shred any I haven't gone paperless on almost as soon as I get them. My mom had mailed me some of my brother's death certificates last summer, and I never received those. We just figured they got lost in the mail.

I also had one package that took forever to show up, and when tracked it showed on the post office website it had been delivered three days earlier. Sometime that night she came over and put it by our back door, the same one I had just come in a couple hours before and it was not there.

Other than those two particular instances, color me clueless about my missing mail.

Around the beginning of January, I saw a couple of mail vehicles over at her house. Apparently they had been retrieving all those bags, though I missed that part. I only saw them leaving with a couple boxes.

Shortly afterward there was a veritable bonanza of mail delivered to everyone around here. They sorted out and delivered everything they found. Ours dated back to October, and included everything from catalogs and sales announcements and magazines to Christmas cards and bank statements.

Last week the lady was packing up boxes of something out of her house and taking them somewhere. I didn't see any furniture go, but there were boxes going.

The last two days she hasn't been home at all. According to the news, she will be prosecuted for mail theft, and I'm wondering if she's either, A.) running, or B.) taking a last vacation! Seems she didn't tell everyone where she was going, though, because numerous vehicles have come to her house this last couple days, only to find her gone and that lonely porch light still burning.

That is all the gossip from Smalltown today, and it was old gossip at that. I really need to find something else to do.

Over and out.


4 comments so far m-lewis - 2007-02-13 16:35:43
I hope she didn't leave any pets behind. We've had that happen a couple of times to us... In the first incidence, the little old man across the road from us died. In the second incidence, the people down the road just up and left one good night, forgetting all about their sweet little (pregnant) dog. We, being kind-hearted suckers, felt sorry for the poor abandoned creatures and took them in. We found homes for all NINE puppies. Then quickly had both dogs "fixed." Anyway, I hope she wasn't cruel as well as lazy. I wish I had someone to watch across the road -- it would make my time at the computer so much more interesting.
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wannagowest - 2007-02-13 18:19:53
Man, talk about procrastination. That lady had it BAD. At least she was just letting it sit and not going through all that mail (presumably).
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Heather - 2007-02-14 18:18:58
Whoa, that's weird she would do that. But it must've been kind of funny getting all your old mail (in an aggravating sort of way).
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Stephanie - 2007-02-20 11:36:44
The thoughtful comment you left over at my place made me cry. Kindness does that to me. Thank you so much. By the way, I loved Bewitched, That Girl and Laverne & Shirley, too! It's funny because I watch very little television nowadays, but I used to be glued to the set when I was young...
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