Thinking about Fay.
2005-06-30
12:51 a.m.
Fay has been on my mind today. I miss her. I'm still surprised at just how much I miss her. We weren't close, but we were friendly. We didn't see each other often, but she was the go-to girl in our family. A very hard worker and a non-complainer, at least to us. She centered my brother in many ways, and I suspect sometimes she also prompted his occasional obnoxious behavior.
Today I took the testimony of some paramedics in a neighboring county, and the case involved a terrible motor vehicle accident in which one person died. I found my thoughts wandering from the case at hand to the motorcycle accident.
My brother remembers the car hitting them, he remembers flying through the air, and he remembers the paramedics attending to him at the scene. He remembers they wouldn't tell him anything about his wife except they were working on her. He remembers yelling her name repeatedly and getting no response until someone told him to quit yelling.
We all hoped he wouldn't remember anything about the accident, but it's the first thing he talked about when he came out from under sedation a week later. I've heard it said the brain has a way of shutting down a memory too painful or awful to remember, and I wonder why his memory is still intact, and what could possibly be more awful than that night for him.
Today I've been wondering what she saw and knew. I pray for her it was quick and painless, and I pray she knew instant peace.
Next month is her birthday, and besides a family grieving for her, she has a best friend who is still lost without her. Fay and her best friend both collected piggy banks, and for the last hour I've searched out piggy bank charms on e-Bay. Surprisingly (or not, because you can find anything on e-Bay), there are many to choose from. I think I may select one to purchase and make her best friend either a necklace or a keychain.
Hubby and I have been talking a lot about this tonight, and I couldn't go to sleep, so I thought I'd get up and write about it.
You may now go back to your regularly-scheduled programs, and tomorrow I will try to write something humorous about Youngest Son's amazing cat-herding abilities. It's true.
2 comments so far Patty - 2005-06-30 08:14:01
What a thoughtful sister/friend you are. We lost my husband's sister unexpectedly, and it is still a shock 11 years later - such a reminder that this is not the dress rehearsal. We continue to keep your brother in our prayers.
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Becky - 2005-07-01 18:10:18
I can only tell you that you're one of the most thoughtful, compassionate people to have ever blessed my life. I'm sure all those around you would agree.
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