The damn housework.

2004-11-13
1:24 a.m.

Three days in a row, people. Don't get used to it, because I'll probably flake and disappear for a month again before you know it.

Tonight's Rant: Housework. (And I must say I don't THINK I'm PMS'g, but then again maybe I am.)

Around 5:00 this afternoon I got an email from Hubby announcing some friends of his he used to work with are going to be visiting us tomorrow morning. Gah.

My house is a wreck. I've been working, editing, a lot this week, and I'm a fairly one-track person. I'm either working or my house is clean. Those two rarely, rarely happen simultaneously. You can bet most times if my work is caught up? The house is trashed.

Friday nights are MY nights to do beading. I don't get to do it much during the week, if ever, and weekends around family activities don't leave much time either. But Friday night...ahh, that's the golden night I live for.

Hubby bowls in a bowling league Friday nights, and the kids and I have gotten in the routine of going to the grocery store at 5:30 or so (5:30 in the Super Wal-Mart is a great time, y'all. Hardly anyone is there then, versus Saturday or Sunday when everybody but everybody is there.), and then we come home and either order pizza or McDonald's/Wendy's/Burger King. After we eat dinner, I encourage them to watch a movie, play with each other, play on the computer, whatever, just please let Mom have some beading time. They're welcome to come upstairs in my *brand spanking new* beading space, but I'm not playing with them on Friday night. It's very much an amuse-yourself night.

There's no homework to worry about, and occasionally (okay, often) both boys even go to bed showerless on Friday nights. And then the really golden time starts when they're both in bed, because then I don't even have to listen and check on what they're doing. I love my Friday nights...have I pointed that out yet?

But since Hubby's friends will be here at 10:00 tomorrow morning, and since I have an 8:30 haircut appointment, that meant I had to clean the house tonight. Do you think Hubby skipped his bowling night because he has company coming tomorrow? Why no, he did not.

When he came home at 10:00, both kids and I had been working on the house for about an hour and a half, and we were far, far, far from finished. Hubby's smart enough to know this is not good, this being forced to clean on Friday night, but I had to bark at him some, just to make sure he knew. Which gave him the perfect opportunity to claim I was a raving nut, and he put Youngest Son in bed and went to bed himself.

God, I hate when I set that trap for myself. Anybody who knows my husband and I know this is one of our oldest, most worn-out issues ever. I long ago gave up getting much help in housework out of my husband. He's most likely just not going to do it, or if he does do it he either half-asses it or whines so much about it, I end up furious with him even though he did help.

Believe me, I see how he works. What I wonder is what can I do different to get a different outcome from him? If I rant and rave, he takes off. If I ask him very nicely to help, he whines till my ears bleed. If I say nothing, doing it all, hoping he'll just pitch in, he does nothing. He never compliments me on how clean the house is, nor does he ever comment on how trashed the house is. His only interest seems to be making sure he's never part of the vacuum, dust and mop team.

Tomorrow we'll have company most likely most of the day, then tomorrow night we'll be going out to eat with some other couples from his job. I see no me time tomorrow, and that irks me.

I sometimes wonder if I couldn't have lived as a single woman quite happily for my whole life. The eight years I was out of my parents' house before I got married were some of the best times.

I wouldn't trade my husband or kids for anything in the world. Hubby is always in my corner, and that's a real comfort, just knowing that. And the kids are the reason I get up and go every day. I love seeing them grow and learn and experience life. So why do I so often yearn for the time they're in bed?

Some mornings I just want to get up and take care of me. M-E, Me. Not fix breakfast for everyone, making sure book bags are packed, lunches are packed, etc., all before I start even thinking about getting myself ready.

Recently I asked my mom if she felt this way when we were growing up, and she laughed and said, oh, yeah. Which simultaneously comforted me and startled me, because hey, we were your children, the fruit of your loins, your reason for living, your...Never ask a question you don't want an honest answer to that you might not like that answer. :)

I think I've written out most of my frustration now, and I can go to bed. I know this was real interesting reading, huh?

previous // next