Another Hard Day

2004-07-31
1:45 p.m.

Yesterday was another hard day. It seems like I sort of move along and do just fine for days at a time, and other days I cry all day.

Right now I can't figure out why I want to cry all the time except it's the birthday season. F.'s was July 24, K.'s is August 8. I'm hoping this cloud I'm wearing will lift after that. Since R. and K. had the same birthday, I know this will always be especially hard for him, but probably none more than this year's.

Last night my mom called, and as soon as I heard her voice, she and I both started crying. It seems we were all having a hard day yesterday.

She told me R. called her last night to tell her about the band meeting he had just left. He said the meeting was a kick-off for this year's program and that they sounded wonderful. Then after most of the kids left to eat, the parents of the band boosters presented the band director with a plaque in K.'s memory, as well as a snare drum they purchased with funds they collected from all the parents.

R. had no idea they were doing this, and he told Mom he started crying in the meeting in front of everyone. He was so touched that they'd do that in her memory. I think it's great they did that, but I worry about where the plaque's going to hang. I can't imagine KC and M. seeing that every day in the band classroom. Or really anywhere in the school, for that matter.

Mom said Oldest Brother commented, after he hung up from talking to R. last night, "I haven't even begun my hard days yet."

I know this isn't making great reading, guys. Things will cheer up sooner or later.

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